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February 28, 2005

Happy Fun Vector Art Creativity Time

Now that is a decent clip-art cow if I've ever seen one. This cow is ground beef in comparision. Muwhahaha.

By the way, I'm not sure if that's grass or vomit or some sort of lame mooing visualization. Believe what you will.

Posted by eric at 10:46 PM | Comments (3)

The Resurrection of the Good Stuff

I have to tell someone, pronto: My favorite soft drink of all time has returned. The short-lived Red Fusion is now the burdensomely-named "Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper". I was addicted, so you can imagine my devastation when my supplier packed up and skipped town. Even to this day I've had flashbacks to the goodness; the sweet, cherryesque mix of citric and malic acids made me stare ruefully at the plain-jane leftover choices in drink aisle. I was even planning a complex and expensive rescue mission for the one remaining can of Red Fusion that I knew of -- one I'd accidently dropped down an open heating register two years ago. It clanked down into the tubing beyond my grasp and mocked me from its hidey hole.

No more!

Posted by eric at 08:37 PM | Comments (4)

Linkage

I tried installing the technorati search feature on the site here but it seems to be busted (on their end). I don't care how many results you claimed to have found, I haven't written 42,000 entries on J. Lo's heiny.

Oh but I did find the Uptown Mpls Blog with some great pictures, replete with a link here.

I like uptown, in spite of the fact that I feel like a country bumpkin gazing at all the fancy neon lights and trendy people. At least I remembered to discard my flannel and take the straw pick out of my mouth when going to Chino Latino.

Sometimes I wonder if trendiness and posession of a soul are mutually exclusive.

Added a link to my flickr account and I can't help but point out Pimpzilla. Bling-a-ling!

Posted by eric at 02:58 PM | Comments (5)

Mission Successful?

Get a job, hippies. Maybe a life would to great too.

Oh, that's just great. I've become William F. Buckley.

On the other hand, c'mon. What kind of culture is this that people are donating money to produce a commercial (and IMHO cancellation-worthy) television program and not to the poor? Well, that's what the government's for, right?

Posted by eric at 10:44 AM | Comments (0)

Monday detritus

I managed to limit my Oscar exposure to almost nothing, save aruging about exactly why watching would have been a waste of my time. I did hear that Eternal Sunshine... won best screenplay. Charlie Kaufman's neuroses pay off.

People have started to realize that Jon Heder lives. As for where the rumor started, who knows? This would be a good guess. I hear the new rumor is that he's not dead but was in a car wreck.

Uhh.. what else constitues new business around these parts? Oh, I'm not the only one who has trouble coping with a certain show: I’m in that really fine chipper mood that says I can probably watch an episode of “Carnivale” without wanting to drag jagged glass across prominent arteries afterwards.

Ye olde link tyme:

Grounded: Millionaire John Gilmore stays close to home while making a point about privacy - When Gilmore asked to see the rules explaining why his photo ID is necessary for airline security, his request was denied. The regulation under which the Transportation Safety Administration, an arm of the Department of Homeland Security, instructs the airlines to collect such identification is classified as "Sensitive Security Information." The most interesting part of the article argues that reliance on IDs can actually be detrimental. The 9/11 hijackers had driver's licenses, after all.

Prince Charles Upset Over Tsunami Damage - No joke? The only way I would consider this newsworthy is if he wasn't.

That UFO special I mentioned below was actually highly rated. It beat "Must See TV"?

Linux on the iPod presents some interesting challenges. Why would you want to put linux on an iPod? Aww, it doesn't matter, there's a great web site.

Quantum Mysteries Disentangled - Not too dense, interesting abstract. I'll read it later.

Posted by eric at 09:08 AM | Comments (0)

No more monday dreary-blogging

Hmm.. The last post is too gloomy for a Monday morning. So to move the funk down the page, here's a little story.

After trying to kill my sensitive little heart in the sauna yesterday, I was relaxing in the hot tub when a guy hobbled over on crutches. Bored and curious, I asked what happened to his leg.

"Which one?" He asked back. I told him to take his pick.

"I was in a motorcycle accident. Broke both of my legs, and my right arm." He showed me the huge, zipper-like scars from the pins the surgeons put in. "My bones are still broken, and they tell me that the metal in there is all that's holding me up." The accident was in August. Some woman just pulled out in front of him.

Anyways.. My point here is: You are not that guy.

And you're a victim (or child) of this guy.

Posted by eric at 08:53 AM | Comments (0)

February 27, 2005

Suspicion of Malcontent

I think I've managed to develop my own case of weekend remorse. Can't quite believe Monday is knocking obnoxiously on the door, and you just know that when you let it in it will probably try to kick you in the sternum or drunken sailor you into submission.

It may well be more than that, though. It's a sense of creeping dissatisfaction. The kind you feel when told "good job" and you know all too well you've been sitting on your hands and counting ceiling tiles. Or maybe it's the kind you get when you cut someone off at a 4-way and don't really understand why. Butting your head against a wall over a problem or two or three when you're not really sure what else to do but butt.

From not being able to force yourself to do something. Of being faithful but knowing that faith is not sufficient. Maybe it's that itch you feel when you're the only one in the room not in any kind of relationship, no history of them, and with no idea of how to even begin.

The dissatisfaction of being wakened by crows fighting outside your window in the dead of winter, as though over some fleshy remains. Of finding out that your hard work has been duplicated because someone assumed you couldn't handle it yourself and didn't even bother to ask.

The dissatisfaction of wondering if things will ever change and having a strong suspicion you know the answer and aren't willing to admit it. In spite of yourself.

Mix these delightful ingredients together and mix 'til homogenuous. Welcome to Monday.

Posted by eric at 11:06 PM | Comments (0)

Pledging

There are few things more interminable than listening to Ira Glass berate you for not sending NPR money. Unless it's Ira Glass telling you a story about berating money out of listeners and how it turns into an tangled, sordid mess but works out in the end. Well, I take that back, that might be interesting.

I still hate pledging.. doesn't matter how much money you send them, it will always be there. They should offer a pledge-free audio stream for members.

Posted by eric at 02:34 PM | Comments (1)

February 26, 2005

What passes for a Friday Night

I have a correction to make. Earlier I raved about Battlestar Galactica, but the show has taken a turn for the moronic. I apologize to anyone who might have bothered to watch based on that recommendation. My mistake. Details for the so inclined:

I didn't like Katee Sackoff in Education of Max Bickford and I don't like her now. She really only has a few moods in her repertoire: morose, manic, and petulant, and doesn't do any of them very well. The fact that her character prays (hestitantly) to little plastic figurines makes Starbuck even more distasteful. Frankly I would rather be an atheist.. and why is anyone in the 23rd century praying to Artemis?

The writing is outlandish and the pacing has fallen way off. I don't think anyone particularly cares what's happening on Caprica; everything that has happened there could be shown in one episode instead of 6. You don't send a flight training officer to interrogate a spy. You don't allow a presidential figure within arm's reach of said spy when he's demonstrated the ability and willingness to instantly break free of restraints. Dream sequence foreshadowing should only occur in soap operas and horror movies.

Why would the interogator within the span of 4 minutes go from hating the spy to touching hands longingly (through the airlock window) as he's sucked into space? Was she feeling sorry for him? She didn't show it as she tortured him for the preceding 8 hours.

I could go on, but that's clearly enough. Real shades of Carnivale here (in brief: hate it). There are still a few amusing storylines and strong points, mostly just the fact I really like Mary McConnell (el Presidente).

Speaking of which, she also starred in Donnie Darko, which, along with Woody Allen's Annie Hall, made up my improbable entertainment slate for the evening. Donnie Darko was the extended cut; not as good as the original. Annie Hall? Well, Woody Allen is amusing in small doses. I hope he's not really like his character, but I suspect that he is.

I'm off to the old homestead for some free food and free laundry. So help me, I just want to do something not involving screens.

Posted by eric at 12:43 PM | Comments (0)

Allow me to be smug and overzealously satisfied for a moment. See... I've been stuck with the same crappy 17" monitor for almost 5 years now. It's been getting progressively fuzzier and frankly, I started to hate it. The monitor I have at work is much larger with a lower dot pitch, and my eyes were starting to protest. Yes: I'm trying to frame my purchase of the above unit as that of necessity and not want.

But oh, I wanted it too. I ordered this Viewsonic 912b from Dell about a month and a half ago and they failed to notify me that it was backordered. I gave them a month because they had a big monitor discount going on. Then amazon sent me an even bigger discount for the same unit and HAD IT IN STOCK. I'm still trying to get Dell to release the $500 hold they put on my account and won't be buying much more from them.

Oh, but it was worth it. As you can see, the monitor has a handy swivel feature which means that I can look directly at the text or whatever that I'm working with. No slouching. I have to physically look upwards to see title bars. Like an IMAX at my desk if I really stretch the metaphor. Unfortunately the viewing angle is not quite as good in this mode.

This is yet another reason for my lack of enthusiasm for grad school. I don't want to go back to being a broke student. Eye of the needle and all that jazz.

Oh, the temptation was too much. I am such a damnable dork.

Posted by eric at 11:18 AM | Comments (0)

Long, strange road to the top

...Of Google's "jon header head" search results. It will never get higher than number #7, but that's still first page.

What a joke.

That, and I know I don't have an especially good reason to be ranked on "kid weeps to his mother about how Napoleon died", but there are far fewer good reasons to be searching for something like that.

Posted by eric at 11:00 AM | Comments (0)

February 25, 2005

Simple Confoundatry

Petals around the Rose - Time yourself. I have to admit I was frustrated by the lack of instructions, but I guess that's the point.

Posted by eric at 04:10 PM | Comments (4)

Whores in the night

Relax: by whores of the night I'm talking about Witches. Mares, if you will. Every night this week I've managed to have a bizarre and outlandish nightmares. (Are there any other kind?) Bad stuff: trapped in a melting-down nuclear power plant, dentistry horrors, deep mines with evil waiting to spring out and turn people into flesh eating cannibals. What's really been bothersome, though, is just how much of them I remember.

Every.

Creepy.

Detail.

Normally I forget my dreams in short order. Even before I hit the shower, they've evaporated -- even the scary ones. Another thing that's been different this week is that I wake up earlier and have real trouble dragging myself out of bed. Not that this isn't a problem for me normally; it is. It's just worse this week.

So what gives? Should I stop freebasing donkey tranquilizers so close to bedtime? Are my brain chemicals undergoing a dramatic shift which will leave me nothing more than a quivering, listless vegetable?

I have a theory, let's see if anyone bites: The sun coming through my blinds is waking me up a little bit early in the morning. The external visual cues provided by the increased amount of light triggers more frequent and longer bouts of REM sleep much closer to the time I wake up than I'm accustomed during the winter months. Since the memories are fresher, I stand there in the shower wondering why exactly some doors in that last dream led to a frightening, purple, alternate universe and some led back into my grandparent's old living room.

Posted by eric at 02:58 PM | Comments (3)

Enough already!

I will be perfectly happy to make it through the weekend hearing no reference to either the Oscars or the Pope. I doubt very much this will happen. And now I'd like to present a woeful a lack of original thought on my part. More links:

• Homage to Super Mario Bros - Made with Post-its.

• Bias in college faculty? - No doubt there is discrimination here; the question is one of mechanism.

• Heliport Tennis Court - Wouldn't tennis balls falling from several hundred feet pose a little bit of a problem?

• Don't say I didn't warn you. Here's a storyboard version of Star Wars Ep. 3 with pictures. I have to admit it looks promising.

• The one hundred most influential works in cognitive science from the 20th century - I just wish I had some time to read through them.

• A collection collection.
  

Posted by eric at 09:53 AM | Comments (0)

February 24, 2005

HTTP Dynamite

Don't get me wrong, I like site traffic. A lot.

But when it's just several hundred entries of, well, you know, it's just not the same.

Maybe I'm not happy because it's all from Yahoo. Bring the PageRank-ed Google traffic. Maybe happiness isn't all about capturing the clicks. Maybe this is what made my evening.

Posted by eric at 11:07 PM | Comments (0)

Of all things...

There's a Peter Jennings hosted special on ABC right now. It's quite well done, so I'm happy that my TV lets me watch two things at once.

(Wow.. that's sad to read. All of it.)

UPDATE: Good special, well presented. Lots of believable, mostly normal eyewitnesses and convincing scientific rebuttal. Kind of dried up in the "abduction" and "Roswell" segments.

Posted by eric at 07:23 PM | Comments (1)

Sidebar updates

I added a link to The Volokh Conspiracy where they've been running an interesting series on libertarians vs Libertarians vs Republicans. And this guy, with the awful awful header image.

Posted by eric at 04:47 PM | Comments (0)

Wouldn't that be Spiffy?

From National Geographic News:

One of the prerequisites for the human habitation of Mars (for the foreseeable future) is some source of liquid water. Life needs the stuff, and we in particular need a lot -- from bodily consumption all the way to rocket fuel.

It would be AMAZING if true, an entire sheet of water ice spilled out on the surface and protected below a layer of dust and debris. Maybe I'll live to see someone make use of it.

Posted by eric at 03:30 PM | Comments (0)

A simple plea

TCF, would you PLEASE stop un-depositing and re-depositing my last paycheck, you're making me a little paranoid. Thank you.

Now for some links!

Superman Is a Dick - I'm not much of a comic superhero fan, but these covers and the associated commentary are a riot.

Ultra-high res view of Manhattan. You can see the orange gates if you look closely. This is from a commercial satellite.. you just know the military can pick hair color out of their images. Also a sweet Top ten.

Fun comparison of Bush and Hitler, with plenty of Fascism to go around.

How to argue like a conservative!

A Review of 'Double Agent 73' - Uhh, NSFW. It's the sequel to a real gem called "Deadly Weapons". Suffice to say in that one the main character finds creative ways to kill men. I've only seen a trailer for the original; as far as I can tell it's not strictly porn but based on the badness might as well be.

The internet has finally fulfilled its potential. We can all go home now.

And finally, my Dilbert feed on bloglines started working again. I believe that deserves a "Huzzah!" (For someone who is lost without a tube of chapstick, this is funny stuff.)

Posted by eric at 09:12 AM | Comments (0)

My Statscounter graph's perceived accuracy destroyed

Yahoo!(?) indexed my "Heder Not Dead" entry yesterday so now I'm number two on the search engine's list of responses for "john heder dead". (Try it for yourself!)

Unfortunately, it excerpts the phrase "jon heder is dead" from the list of keyword searches I put up a few days back, immediately providing the impression that he has died a horrible un-Mormonlike death. (Not to mention the phrase "Jon Heder is dead in the same way Paul is dead"...)

So I got nearly 300 visitors yesterday because of that. Wheee! Jon Heder needs to die more often.

I'm making it worse, aren't I?

Posted by eric at 12:26 AM | Comments (2)

February 23, 2005

With Sidekicks like these...

I'd like to talk about something I feel is of great importance -- whether we'll admit it or not -- to all of us. It's the news that the contents of Paris Hilton's little black contact list has been salciously spread all over the internet.

Sure, it seems amusing but it's not. Can you imagine having your phone numbers spread over the web for people to see? Hackers calling your parents early in the morning and cackling as your groggy mother pleas with them to stop bothering them. The likes of prominent celebrities like Eminem, Lindsay Lohan, Christina Aguilera, Luke Wilson, Ashlee Simpson, Andy Roddick and Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel for crying out loud! Is shame dead?

I'd like to talk about an even more omninous implication: This brutal theft and invasion of privacy is endangering celebrities lives. You've heard about the storms in La-la-land, right? What if -- God forbid -- one of these luminaries listed above were to fall into a muddy pit at the base of an unstable hillside? Or had their limo swept away by the raging LA River spilling over its banks? Their phones might be so crammed with obnoxious 11-year old girls trying to get through to their idol that the troubled stars can't even get through to their manager, let alone emergency services.

What if all of their other contacts have changed phone numbers? Just imagine the number of potential hookups lost to this 1 contact list theft. It's like a butterfly in the rainforest, flapping its wings and causing the bullet meant for Archduke Ferdinand to fly wide . Look. What I'm saying here is that there is more to this story than the crooked, corporate-beholden media is willing to present. Personally, I would recommend digging up some old Civil Defense fallout shelter plans.

But first, I have a few phone calls to make.

Posted by eric at 09:05 AM | Comments (1)

February 22, 2005

Snow storms make for good screensavers.

Posted by eric at 11:24 PM | Comments (0)

JON HEDER, AKA NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, IS NOT DEAD.

You know, in case I haven't been clear enough.

Posted by eric at 05:15 PM | Comments (1)

Sometimes you feel like a...

Ruby script. Have you ever wondered just how much you're getting out of your Netflix subscription? Wonder if it's actually cheaper than just going over to the video store whenever you feel like it? Now you can know for sure with the Netflix value calculator.

You'll need a few things for it to run:

• Ruby runtime
• Netflix account
• Copy of your netflix rental history (comes as an e-mail)
• The script (Rename to nf.rb, my server is retarded.)

  Then:

• Copy all the movie history lines into a text file. Like this:
  02/16/05 02/21/05 The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
  02/09/05 02/18/05 America's Atomic Bomb Tests: Vol. 2 (1997)
  02/09/05 02/16/05 Mystery Science Theater 3000: Mr. B's Lost Shorts (1993)
  ...
  08/02/04 08/10/04 Matchstick Men (2003)
  08/02/04 08/10/04 Plan 9 from Outer Space (1958)
  
  
• Run the script on the text file:
  
  nf.rb text_filename
  
  

My output:

[ Results ]

# Months Used: 8, # Videos Rented: 49
Plan amount: $17.99

Average # Rentals Per Month: 6.12
Average paid per rental: $2.93

Month with most rentals: 08/04 with: 11
Average paid per rental for 08/04: $1.63

Month with fewest rentals: 10/04 with: 3
Average paid per rental for 10/04: $5.99

Posted by eric at 11:35 AM | Comments (0)

Why the sudden uptick?

My site was getting inexplicably more popular since last friday with those first-time visitors. It was briefly a mystery until I looked at the keyword analysis:

jon heder - car wreck
jon heder car wreck
old snapshots of wisconsin
jon heder dead
jon heder is dead
napoleon dynamite car wreck
jon heder dead
pitching machine accuracy
improve science
jon heder car wreck
jon heder wreck
true image
jon heder died in car
jon heder car wreck
schindler's list pictures

Pitching machine? Schindler's list? WTF? At any rate, I got to thinking about this and can just imagine some punk elementary kid in a lunchroom telling some gulliable, unpopular kid about how Napoleon Dynamite died in a car wreck. The gulliable kid, immediately picturing a body bag zipping up to cover Napoleon's dead, agape mouth, runs from the table crying loudly. After getting home, the kid weeps to his mother about how Napoleon died. The mother, who always forwards the chain e-mails she receives without question, calls her friends up who repeat the news to their children. Thusly it begins.

Snopes has an amusing writeup (with Mormonism!). There's also a web page dedicated to the subject that begs the question: Why is bambi dancing in the background?

Posted by eric at 09:34 AM | Comments (0)

February 21, 2005

What would you do?

There's Someone at the Door For You, He Says He's From the Future

Okay, if a stranger created a lengthy scrapbook based on all your internet activities, gave it to you and told you he was from the future, then invited you anonymously to a puzzle-based scavenger hunt in another state, what would you do? BTW, the whole operation was much, much more elaborate than what I've described. Must read.

Minneapolis is inexplicably involved. (For some better explanation, see here: DYLAN REIFF AND JOE KORSMO.)

Posted by eric at 04:37 PM | Comments (1)

Links 'o plenty

• How to destroy the Earth. (For evil villians and maruding martians.) It's much easier than you might suspect.

• Furor Lingers as Harvard Chief Gives Details of Talk on Women - Transcript of what Larry Summers actually said has been released. Favorite article quote: "It's crazy to think that it's an innate difference," Professor Georgi added. "It's socialization. We've trained young women to be average. We've trained young men to be adventurous." So in spite of the physical, psychological, and neurological differences between men and women, it's still crazy and sexist to suggest that biology might have influence on choice of academic field or level of degree. Gender imbalance? If you don't think it's solely due to discrimination, you're crazy. Crazy!

• Reports of life on Mars have been greatly exaggerated. As a consolation prize, there may be sheets of pack ice underground near the equator.

• It's high time Hollywood starting mining Clive Cussler novels for movie ideas. Vapid, action-packed swashbuckling has been in short supply lately. (What's up with that domain name? 'Cusslermen'? Sounds greasy.)

• Obviously I'm in denial over the fact it's a monday.

Posted by eric at 10:47 AM | Comments (0)

Critters

Weekends are supposed to be for relaxing, right? Not when you've got a full slate of Critters movies to watch or computer games to play. I played myself raw. I played myself til I was all but walking, clicking dead, then I dragged myself back to play some more.

I've also ensconced myself as the third or fifth (or if I'm lucky, seventh) wheel in any mixed group activity. Here's to small triumphs.

Posted by eric at 09:14 AM | Comments (0)

February 19, 2005

RSC

Regal Social Club has an awesome new web site (somewhat) up. Especially compelling is the link to a site devoted to David Bowie's area. If you've seen the muppet/gross out flick 'Labyrinth' you'll understand.

Posted by eric at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)

Maybe I did, Maybe I didn't!

So girl cutting my hair yesterday evening brought up "Napoleon Dynamite". Yeah, I'd seen it. Her husband couldn't stop watching.
Then she offhandedly mentioned that the guy who played Napoleon had died in a car wreck.

"Whaat? When was this?"

"Earlier today, I guess. I just heard about it."

After we were done, I excitedly called a friend for confirmation. She wasn't at her computer so I just succeded in upsetting her. (Who says I don't have a way with the ladies?)

It turns out that Jon Heder is dead in the same way that "Paul is Dead": in rumor only.

I realize now that I have something to aspire to: To be alive and well while denying rumors of my own death. It may seem a little macabre, but what a way to know you've arrived.

Posted by eric at 11:32 AM | Comments (2)

Concentration

So I was trying to get something done earlier and found myself distracted. Desktop wallpaper, icons, clutter of programs. Sometimes you can't maximize the program you're working with and you just have to live with the visual busyness.

Until now! (Cue infomercial music.)

Here's Concentration. [4kb]

Here's a screenshot of it in action. It really doesn't show much -- the program just gives you a solid screen of a certain color to hide all that windowed nonsense. Think of it as a visual firewall. A brief readme:

• Opacity levels -- For when you need to peek. Press 'Page Up' and 'Page Down'.
• Color picker -- Change the solid color. Press 'c'.
• Other controls -- There's no title bar, press 'm' to minimize and 'Escape' to quit.
• It saves your chosen color and opacity level in a configuration file.
• Just unzip and run.

I do realize that the same effect can be accomplished by getting a desktop manager and setting up additional, clutter free, desktops. But it wasn't as much fun to do it that way. Here's the source. Now if I can just remember what I was doing in the first place...

Posted by eric at 12:09 AM | Comments (0)

February 18, 2005

Kings of Covenience

Homesick

Nice sound, very Simon & Garfunkelesque

Posted by eric at 01:28 PM | Comments (0)

Fortune lost on the Fortunate

I must admit a little difficult posting recently; I feel like there's a lot to say but I can't find any structure to it. I need to find a way to become less busy. I need to find a little direction, because I'm in a very distinctly "now what?" frame of mind.

When you're little, you have school and playtime to look forward to. When you're in middle school, there's high school and the prospect of a little (driving) freedom. When you're in high school there's summer jobs and college looming. When you're in college you're prepping for work and a life on your own. When you're working.. well, that's where my "now what?" comes into the picture. The structure and assuredness that I used to have is out the window, and I have no idea what to do about the dissatisfaction that's left over.

I'm quite sure I'm not the only one struggling with this particular problem. Like the flu, though, shared misery doesn't mean faster recovery. I'm gonna have to settle the issue myself.

Some people define themselves, wittingly or not, by their work. They don't even have to like what they do, it still occupies them constantly. Long hours, restless nights devoted to what the job demands.

Some invest themselves in other people, friends, spouses, lovers. The time they spend apart is really just time spent preparing to be together.

For some people it's the family that takes priority over work. Calls in the office from panicked children, errands during the day for dentist or soccer or horses.

Some people have projects that occupy them from the minute they get home from work until the minute they go to bed. Work doesn't give them the fulfillment they get from building, organizing, learning whatever is the object of their time. I think gamers would fall here, but more important the people finding constructive ways to spend time.

Others find that religion is more than enough. God or Bhudda or L. Ron Hubbard satisfy. I've never really felt that way. Jesus loves me, yes, I know; but I still find myself lying on the couch with the Question on my mind.

I'm not sure where I fall in any of these. The job is not a defining aspect of my life. I don't have my own family to manage, and relationships (or just the pursuit thereof) have always been an express bus to Heartbreak City, population: me. I only sometimes have the tenacity to finish simple projects and my hobbies vacillate between fulfilling and drearily boring.

I hope it's not for lack of imagination that I can't answer "now what?", but it's not something I grew up anticipating. "I want to be a ______ when I grow up!" dreaming isn't seperate from "I want to be satisfied by ______ when I grow up!" when you're young.

Anyways, I'll wrap this up, but I still don't feel like I've touched on what I wanted to say. Maybe it's a start.

Posted by eric at 09:59 AM | Comments (0)

February 17, 2005

Oh, thank God!

I thought I was the only person this had happened to.

Posted by eric at 11:04 PM | Comments (0)

Numa boy

File this under "who would have thought?" or "too much free time?" or "end of the world". Oh wait, I take that back -- this one is an "end of the world".

Posted by eric at 04:52 PM | Comments (0)

ART IS DEAD

And this particular conceptual artist has killed it.

The connection between concrete and baked goods hasn't been lost on Emily Katrencik, a 30-year-old conceptual artist whose ongoing project consists of gnawing through a wall in the apartment of Louky Keijsers, owner of the LMAKprojects gallery in Chelsea.

Katrencik does this by eating through 1.956 inches a day. The project started on New Year's Day, and the hole in the wall is now big enough that she can stick her head through it.

I might be impressed if she did this in Tulsa, but in New York? Pretty passe.

Posted by eric at 12:03 PM | Comments (1)

Gettin' Jiggy with Simulacra

It seems that my counterpart in "Sims 2" has been a busy boy. In fact, it appears that he's got it so good that if he wants to shack up with someone, all he has to do is click on the bed, click on the girl, and click 'wahoo'. Various flailing occurs under the covers, fireworks go off, and I get some XP.

I have to admit I'm at a loss for words.

(What's weirder is that I was not at all involved with the creation or operation of my sim-person. Thanks guys.)

Posted by eric at 09:32 AM | Comments (0)

Work, grumble, grumble

Nothing quite like the asshole treatment to get you started in the morning.

Posted by eric at 09:03 AM | Comments (0)

February 16, 2005

From The Onion's Horoscope Page

Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
The plucky, dam-building beaver is known as "nature's engineer," so it's not too surprising when 12 of them trap you inside a clever, woody Maze of Death.

Posted by eric at 02:30 PM | Comments (0)

...BIG surprise

Someone created a page for all the county courthouses in Georgia -- many of which date back to the 1800s. I haven't seen them all, but my favorites are for Montgomery and Putnam counties. I used to live in Newton county, which provides some context for this shot.

Minnesota courthouses are quite dowdy and functional by comparison.

Posted by eric at 12:21 PM | Comments (1)

Linkage

"Interesting, but conservative". I'll take it! Though "conservative, but interesting" might imply greater achievement in the face of my affliciation. ;)

(With bonus russian hat!)

Posted by eric at 10:58 AM | Comments (3)

Less Hardtack

Put up a new header, I like the boldness of it and how it frames the rest of the page. I'm thinking about doing something fancy with the text on the topic titles. Maybe I'll make up a few more headers and do a revolving thing. Maybe I could even have some for nighttime and some for daytime. Oooh, the possibilities.

I also had the opportunity to watch Deceived. From the director of Left Behind, this is a lame ripoff of "Contact" -- mostly because the main character looks like Charlie Sheen and the "action" takes place in an observatory. (Actually, the whole in the movie takes place in about 3 rooms, a hallway, and rock face with a small, fake "door" they call the entrance.)

Suffice it to say that there is a "signal" that, if you were to hear it, would drive you crazy with hellish rage. Luckily it doesn't affect anyone who believes in Jesus or has a hearing aid (which -- lucky for us -- covers both of the characters we're supposed to care about). The acting could have been much worse considering the material. Oh, by the way, the signal comes from hell. How do we know? It makes people irritable, greedy, and is 6.66 seconds long. There's also telekinesis thrown in for the fun of it.

The "exciting" climax duped me, though. There is a battle for control of the "signal" and our main characters end up standing directly in front of the circuit breaker for the building. I thought for sure that one of them would flip the switch and poof! The signal would be gone and people would come to their senses.

Boy was I wrong! Our main characters start praying and are answered with all of the equipment in the "observatory" suddenly bursting into a shower of sparks and flames like the bridge of the Enterprise. Totally Deus ex, uh, Deus.

Though it does raise the question... Why doesn't just God explode the observatory and keep all this from happening in the first place? His ways are truly mysterious, I guess.

Posted by eric at 10:23 AM | Comments (0)

More Hardtack

I finished watching that Hardtack video last night (and wrote a little more here -- including some explanation, if not justification, for my admittedly odd interest). What follows is "Reader descretion advised", depending on your sensitivity to the topic.

The last portion was presented without sound since it had been "sanitized" from the tape that the DoD released. Suffice it to say, it was some of the most harrowing footage I've seen in a long time. From what I gathered, it was about 'sub-kiloton' devices. Suitcase (or mortar shell) sized devices. Few blast or thermal effects but highly effective against soft targets like infantry or, in this case, pigs.

The idea was to preserve equipment, so tanks, personnel carriers, and foxholes were loaded with hogs no more than a few hundred feet from the bomb. After the detonation they would be dragged out -- still alive but obviously dazed and ill -- and carted away for observation. I don't have a problem viewing dead animals, but it's substantially more difficult to see ones that are suffering. (Even if for our benefit.)

What really got to me was that in the earlier portions of the disk, the video was accompanied by an authoritative and, I realize now, reassuring narration. But with silence, your mind is at liberty to run free. Quite unnerving!

Posted by eric at 09:49 AM | Comments (0)

February 15, 2005

Marriage Proposal DENIED

So much more awesome than the event itself: the fact it was a hoax.

Posted by eric at 11:25 PM | Comments (2)

Perfect Holiday Movie

Last night I unwound with a nice DoD video from 1959 on Operation Hardtack. Part 2 was about the high-atmospheric tests called Teak and Orange. Back in 1959 is was risky business to put a nuke on a missle and shoot it off -- things blew up on the pad (and more than once spreading bomb parts all over Johnston Island). The tests that they ran on each "shot" were amazingly comprehensive; everything from EM spectrum to biological and structural effects were considered.

Oh yeah, and they gave service members who were involved in the tests "Certificates of Participation" with kitchy designs. My favorite has to be the Operation Redwing certificate which is a mishmash of indian -themed objects, planes, bombs, and palm trees.

The Journal of the Atomic Weathermen

Eniwetok-Rongerik Experiences

We Were Trapped by Radioactive Fallout

Posted by eric at 12:09 PM | Comments (4)

Awesome

That's a man, baby! She.. err.. he was always a good read, though, he should keep it up. (With a different color scheme...)

Posted by eric at 09:18 AM | Comments (0)

February 14, 2005

Magic

I wasn't going to post anything for Valentine's Day because frankly I have no good reason to even mention it; but upon reading this, I just knew I had to share. Happy Valentines!

I got myself chocolate and some booze.. what a great holiday.

Posted by eric at 05:26 PM | Comments (1)

I've Been Simulated

I guess I make the perfect candidate (guinea pig) for this sort of thing. (Since when do I have a fear of public bathrooms??)

Posted by eric at 04:54 PM | Comments (0)

Defenestration. (n)

Hacker lingo. Exgress from the Windows platform. (Or the software tools written to support such a conversion.)

Posted by eric at 04:25 PM | Comments (0)

Rain turning to Snow

When rain turns to snow its volume expands significantly. (6x the volume?) So I found myself sledding home through 5 inches of thick, wet snow. But light snow at night makes for great lighting.

Posted by eric at 12:00 AM | Comments (0)

February 12, 2005

Hard Fought Battles of the Heartland

From TAToPA:

Sleep like the devil were after the wakeful

(Got in at 3 last night, struck me as appropriate.)

Posted by eric at 11:43 AM | Comments (1)

February 11, 2005

Don't drink the Kool-aid

Yeah, I know it sucks when Valentine's Day descends and you're single with no prospects. But mass suicide?

I wonder where that chat room was (and if any transcripts exist -- what? I'm curious).

Posted by eric at 03:16 PM | Comments (1)

Little Green Men

One of my favorite subjects growing up was aliens -- of the X-Files variety. In particular, the craft that they allegedly swoop in on, the UFOs, the flying saucers that buzz remote places at inconvenient times. I checked out library books on the subject and gazed though through pages of fuzzy, dark, ambiguous pictures. (They are, after all, all that exist.)

Now, I'm not nearly as enthusiastic about the subject as I once was. My lack of belief in alien visitors turned my research into the subject into a purely psychological/sociological interest. I still watch UFO specials on the History Channel with some bemusement, the ones "from the Soviet archives!" are particularly fun. My visit to Area 51 further reinforced my lack belief; walls covering the "Little A'le'inn" were allegedly UFOs but quite obviously military flares. Belief is blinding, especially in this faith.

I have no poster hanging in my office proclaiming "I want to believe." but I can appreciate good UFO pictures when I see them. Are they real? If they are, what do they show? If they're faked, how? Why? I find that the fun is in the mystery, not the answers. (What an easy cop-out since there are no answers!)

So a couple of years back, I came across some nice snapshots from Wisconsin purporting to show a flying disk with lights on the bottom. Since there was no "critical" analysis apparent, I decided to write some. (Don't you love the tantalizing supposition in the last paragraph? Always remember: Write to your audience.)

Ever since I have received a steady stream of e-mails on the subject. They range from the bizarre to the helpful and anonymous.

Yesterday I received 8 e-mails on the subject. Again, the gamut from wholehearted agreement to "obvious hoax". 8 is a lot, normally I get less than one a month. It turns out that the analysis page was posted on the Jeff Rense Program web site; home of such categories as "Iraq'nam" and "WTC Reality".

I'm not sure quite how to feel about this. Obviously I could hope for a little more cosmopolitan expertise and linkage. But still.. I like getting e-mail. Beggers can't be choosers.

Posted by eric at 11:53 AM | Comments (0)

Fickle Friday

Since a certain friday fixture is on hiatus this week, I'm going to try to offer a tepid alternative. That's right: Now I ask the questions and random passers-by provide the answers. Granted, if I did this on a street corner you would immediately (and rightfully) consider me fruit loopy. But here it's just goofing off. When you should be doing something productive.

Besides, what better outlet for what Jon Stewart refers to in America the Book as "The accuracy of anonymous heresay combined with the excitement of typing"?

Without further adieu and in no special order:

1. What comes first in the morning? Breakfast? Shower? Coffee? Web surfing? Do you watch or listen to TV/radio in the morning? If so, what station?
2. How many programs do you usually have running at a time? (Include any browser tabs in this number).
3. Star Trek or Star Wars?
4. How many objects do you have on your desk? How many are strictly work or school related?
5. What do you like most about the place you live? Least?
6. How many stop lights do you hit on the way to work? Do you try to time them just right by slowing down early for red lights? (Do you cheat with those countdown clocks on crosswalk signs?)
7. Macbeth waxes: "Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow / Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, / To the last syllable of recorded time; / And all our yesterdays have lighted fools / The way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle! / Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player / That struts and frets his hour upon the stage / And then is heard no more: it is a tale / Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, / Signifying nothing."

   Is he right or just despondent over the tragic circumstances that have befallen him? Extra credit for giving the correct number of ghosts that appear as characters in the play. And lastly...
   

8. Was this any fun or just a collosal waste of everyone's time?
   

Posted by eric at 09:01 AM | Comments (3)

February 10, 2005

All the flashing little programs

This NYT article applies particularly well to a few of the people that frequent any blog. The last line is a good one:

"Deep thought for a half-hour? Boy, that's hard," Mr. Hecker said. "Does anyone ever really have deep thoughts for half an hour anymore?"

Posted by eric at 05:07 PM | Comments (0)

Hey, I have an Idea!

Instead of banning flavored cigarettes because they might lure young children into smoking them, why don't we just prevent the sale of cigarettes to children? Oh, wait!

Pawlenty--;

I mean, uh, bad move on his part.

Posted by eric at 04:34 PM | Comments (0)

Cinematic Juxtaposition

Last night at Regal we were tossing out ideas about what movies to view in a double feature. Some suggestions:

• Natural Born Killers and The Little Mermaid
• Schindler's List and The Sound of Music
• Citizen Kane and Plan 9 From Outer Space
• Reservior Dogs and All Dogs Go To Heaven

  And my favorite...
  

• Pi and American Pie
  

I tried to convince them to two host simultaneous movies on each half of the 9 TVs, but this was shot down when it was pointed out that 9 isn't an even number. We did see the unaired pilot episode of "Full House" -- without Bob Saget! In his place was some unknown who reminded me for all the world of a human hobbit. Next up was Buckaroo Bonzai, which unfortunately I didn't get to stay for the end of. Some more observations:

• I can't smoke a pipe with anything resembling style.
• Smoking jackets are really just for looks.
• Super Chill (soda) is best, well, chilled.

Posted by eric at 10:27 AM | Comments (0)

I added "A little more" to the about heading on the sidebar. Stalkers rejoice.

Posted by eric at 09:04 AM | Comments (2)

February 09, 2005

SF Book Covers

Older book covers, great collection. Here's my favorite:

Posted by eric at 04:21 PM | Comments (0)

ZatAoMM

A certain diva of tart drink, noticing my blogspot nickname, asked what I thought about "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance". The answer is a complicated one, which perhaps is appropriate for the subject matter.

I'd always figured that the pink book with the goofy cover graphic on my parent's bookshelf was some sort of comedy-slash-self-help book. How to fix your motorcycle AND feel as one with it. The opportunity came up to do a senior AP lit project on it, and I volunteered -- mostly because it meant I didn't have to go BUY the book.

I read it on and off, mostly in gym class after the required 20 laps around the basketball court. I greatly enjoyed the stretches of the book that dealt with the motorcycle trip and flashbacks to the main character's former self, 'Phædrus', who went insane and was electro-shock "therapied" out of existence. I sympathized with the character of his former self. Smart, lonely, trying to understand life and find some value in that understanding. It's no fun to see a character you sympathize with and relate to (even if superficially) vanish in such a grim way.

So I ended up by and large skimming Pirsig's development of his "metaphysics of morals". I certainly wasn't interested in defining Quality or reading lengthy dialectics over the difference between subject and object. Frankly, I'm still not.

I made up some posters with big pictures of motorcycles and a model of that goofy half wrench, half flower. The other people in my group were satisfied with this, having not read it at all. I knew I hadn't understood the book in any real sense but was happy to leave it at that. I doubt I would go back and re-read the book, because I recognize that I lack the patience and willpower. (Something also tells me a few philosophy courses might help, who is this Hegel you speak of?)

I'll go ahead and give it 3/5 stars. Which puts it just slightly behind "Outlaw Prophet"...

Posted by eric at 02:41 PM | Comments (3)

Computers: Dumb as rock but still psychic?

For your amusement and (hopefully brief) bafflement: Flash mind reader and Card mind reader.

Super simple, initially frustrating. I love these kinds of puzzles. (If anyone is stumped let me know, I couldn't figure out the card one at first.)

Posted by eric at 10:57 AM | Comments (2)

Just call me Ebert Jr.: My Outlaw Prophet Review.

On the other hand, maybe I shouldn't have flippantly rated the movie 4 stars instead of the 1 1/2 it actually deserves. Someone will queue this movie on my recommendation and forever curse my name once they see it.

Posted by eric at 10:37 AM | Comments (1)

February 08, 2005

Another great sunset. It's the least MN can do for being so life-numbingly cold.

It's hard to explain why I'm so enamoured with these kinds of pictures. It's the colors and the spectacle that reaches way over your head. They change quickly and vanish in a matter of minutes. Someone commented to me that this is really something that the flatness of the midwest lends itself to. The rolling hills and high trees in the south hamper the view, and the mountains in the west are no good. Sunsets that stretch right up into early twilight require a good deal of flatness.

We have plenty of that.

Posted by eric at 11:32 PM | Comments (0)

I shouldn't need a TV category, but I do.

It's nice to know that, after all they went through together this season, that Kendra thinks Freddie is "worthy of having her children". I'm afraid that I might not fair so well, especially now that they're $650,000 or so richer (after taxes).

I have to admit actual some actual excitement on my part towards the very end. Unlike previous seasons, two teams with so little seperation that close to the end of the race is a little unusual. Kris and John dropped the ball if they actually were on the same subway train as the other two. It was pretty clear that they'd lost by the time they got to the pizza place as F & K were leaving, but up until that point I think it could have gone either way.

For next season, it would be nice if they reduced the dependance on lost cabbies. And I do sympathize with the future teams that don't want Rob & Amber to win another million dollars. It'd be fun to see them get close, but please, I've heard enough about "dynasties" lately.

As a lovely and telling side note, I spent the rest of my evening watching Battlestar Galactica, which up until now I'd been neglecting. I thought the "33-minute" episode was, forgive the pun, stellar. The rest have been less enthralling but still solid, and I'll be sure to keep up from now on.

Unmistakable shades of Space: Above and Beyond. BG is slightly less militaristic and more polished, it may have the potential to do even better things. (Ditch the doctor's hallucination-companion, though, weak, weak, weak.)

Posted by eric at 10:57 PM | Comments (2)

For Future Reference

"Trainwrecking a track": What happens when the DJ (especially one mixing electronic music) falls asleep at the wheel.

Posted by eric at 04:30 PM | Comments (0)

Money for Anything

You know that whacko on the TV ads proclaiming that he can get you a government grant, loan, money for pretty much anything? The one with the outlandish outfit and the mannerisms of a espresso-addicted birthday clown who's just discovered methamphetamines?

He's got a blog now too. Yay.

(He's actually literate and appears to have an interest in libraries.)

Posted by eric at 10:57 AM | Comments (0)

Was ist dieses?

The supernaturally prolific MooCow taking a break? Guess he's huma -- er -- bovine after all.

Posted by eric at 10:25 AM | Comments (5)

Any betters in the house?

Amazing Race ends tonight, here's my predictions:

• Adam and Rebecca eliminated on the first hour's leg. Upon return home, Rebecca comes back to her senses and realizes that Adam is a total dreamboat. I mean, look at those hair horns. You don't just let a man like that walk.

• Freddie and Kendra will come in third. Kendra returns to her natural habitat where poor people only appear on TV ads and the news (which she doesn't watch). Freddie finally fulfills his promise to "break someone in half" but unfortunately that someone is Kendra's "Bill Clinton" Chia Pet that her senile grandmother got her. They break up shortly thereafter.

• Kris and John come in second. They're married within the year -- unfortunately via shotgun wedding. They meant to wait, but, you know, they were just having a dangerous amount of fun being together.

• That means... Aaron and Hayden are the winners. No, I don't want this to happen but I'm trying not to jinx the people I would REALLY like to see win. After splitting the prize and splitting from each other, they each get about $300,000 after taxes. Hayden continues acting but only lands a few spots in cleaning product commercials. She's forever typecast as the Caucasian equivalent of the "Pine Sol" woman. Aaron moves to Anchorage and begins his new life as a fisherman in his new boat, the "Shrimp Supreme".
  

If you guys have better predictions, I'd sure like to hear them.

Posted by eric at 10:02 AM | Comments (3)

February 07, 2005

Go Figure

You Are Pedro!


Which Napoleon Dynamite Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

At least I wasn't uncle Rico. Or a girl. Hey, wait, being Pedro is a good thing because I can make everyone's wildest dreams come true. (Image may not work, from what I see the page is a little popular.)

Posted by eric at 02:49 PM | Comments (1)

The "MSM"

This sort of thing is what makes bloggers valuable in the face of a complacent media. It's funny to see how facts are left to languish in the service of a "good story" -- weren't the editorial page staffers and editors at the Star Tribune interested in the authenticity of some of the main facts cited in a full page article on the front page of their section? Or did they just take Moyers' word as golden? I realize this is the editorial section, where pretensions of objectivity vanish, but there is still the expectation of correctness.

It will be interesting to see if the Strib prints a correction. My guess is that they will once someone DOES take the time to do some fact-checking. Just don't expect it on the section's front page.

Posted by eric at 12:15 PM | Comments (0)

The Copyrighting of Public Space - When copyrights get mixed up with public money -- or -- why you have to bribe people to photograph in Chicago's parks.

Posted by eric at 10:35 AM | Comments (0)

For when I should be doing something productive

This is another one of Larry Millett's books -- the last obvious one on the "Minnesota" rack that I didn't have.

As you might guess, it's a collection of historic and modern pictures, taken from the same locations. The differences are, for the most part, quite striking. There are many fewer people in the modern shots, much less texture. Often only a building or two from the original scene remain and they look forlornly out of place. Millett mostly sticks to downtown streets from Minneapolis and St. Paul, and it seems to be some of the drama of development and modernization (like the expansion of the cities towards the outer loop) is overlooked. There aren't any shots of empty fields surplanted by new buildings, for example.

Still, this book is great fodder for stoking your imagination. The descriptions are witty, informative and sometimes just a little nostalgic. (But that's to be expected from a book published by any historical society.)

Posted by eric at 09:02 AM | Comments (0)

February 06, 2005

I didn't make the spread

I'm out $1.

Posted by eric at 11:37 PM | Comments (0)

Star Trek: Enterprise: Goner

I never did care for that show. There's a great fark photoshop thread for a replacement series. Exempla gratia:

If you're not at all sure why this is funny, click here. The UGA plate and greenery clearly indicate they're from Georgia.

My second vote goes to "Fast Times at Starfleet Academy". Whee.

Posted by eric at 11:32 PM | Comments (1)

February 05, 2005

Sidebar Shorts

Flickr gave me an idea -- try clicking on the "Sidebar Shorts" link. Now I just have to figure what to write in that space. I'll try to make it funny. If something should posses you and you'd like to add something, let me know, I'll give you the link.

Or, I suppose you could add your own 'Sidebar Shorts' frame. It's two lines of HTML. The formatting is a little messed up in IE, I'll fix it later.

Posted by eric at 03:09 PM | Comments (2)

February 04, 2005

I can't fill it up!

I forgot how delightfully easy to use -- and good looking -- flickr is. They have XmlHttpRequests all over the place.

Posted by eric at 04:31 PM | Comments (0)

Worthless Skills?

I was on a roll last night: As the movie du jour began to roll (the cinematic masterwork Aliens vs Predators) I successfully predicted two things:

1) The first death would come 32 minutes into the movie. Bam! 32:34 and a predator takes our first on-screen victim. As an added bonus, he got someone else a few seconds later.

2) The movie would end with a huge explosion. Unfortunately I had to leave before this was fulfilled, but it was reported to me that it ends with said huge explosion. As the Conceptual Engineer put it: "Everything great ends with a huge explosion." Can't argue with that.

Another few feathers for my distinguished cap; I've already mastered the ability to switch back to the program I was watching after ads with an accuracy of +/- .5 seconds. Oh yes, I am a human 'return' feature. How can the ladies not dig that??

Posted by eric at 10:45 AM | Comments (4)

February Sunset

Was treated with a delightful display on the way over to Mankato tonight. I also discovered that for some reason it's not cool to call your buddies and tell them they have to step outside and see the sunset. I don't really care, I got pretty pictures. Youse guys can stick that in your pipes and light up.

Oh, and thanks to Christie Mae for busting me right over the 100 comment mark. I'm pretty sure most of them aren't spam to boot!

Posted by eric at 12:07 AM | Comments (0)

February 03, 2005

Square One

I loved both "Square One" and "3-2-1 Contact" when they were on PBS in the mid-late 80s. As tends to happen on the Internet, someone has posted a web page.

I always thought Kate Monday from Mathnet was a total babe.

Posted by eric at 02:12 PM | Comments (3)

Sometimes real life would be better off with a "Delete This Comment" checkbox.

And Gizoogle.. Is, oddly enough, exactly what I needed at exactly the right time.

Posted by eric at 01:47 PM | Comments (2)

Does it count?

I think this Ashlee Simpson nonsense is starting to get to me. This morning there was this really great vocal trance mix on DI. I was doing a little grooving and a little coding, then it hit me.

I was listening to her.

Augh.. I briefly entertained the notion of shutting it off, but it was a really good mix. Besides, I figure that after the trancification process Ashlee's essense has been reduced to safe exposure levels.

Posted by eric at 01:01 PM | Comments (3)

February 02, 2005

Long day. Much accomplished. Ciao.

Posted by eric at 11:53 PM | Comments (0)

February 01, 2005

Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot? (With Adult Content!)

Anyone else notice the delightful commercial for KY warming lubricant during Amazing Race?

"Keeping a relationship going is hard." the woman starts out. The guy is reading a paper. I figure this is going to have something to do with taking out the trash or buying diamonds. Nope! Now, for anyone who is bored with their sexual partner there's a new product that will make your genitals tingle!

Oh, the wonders of science.

So we've drenched the airwaves with products used before sex (guy throwing a football through a tire swing, anyone?) and now products for during sex. Clearly, the next step is for products used afterwards:

"Does your man have trouble staying awake after.. well, you know?" The future ad-woman asks. The guy gives a castigated expression somewhere between "the dog crapped in my shoe and I hate cleaning that up" and "I forgot our anniversary -- again". She shakes her head, but then perks up: "Now there's New KY No-Doz! With added Taurine!"

Only time will tell.

Posted by eric at 11:11 PM | Comments (5)

Groundhog Day Tribute

So this groundhog comes up to me and he says: "I'm a magic quote-groundhog. Give me two topics and I'll give you some valuable sayings."

Not quite comprehending my newfound luck, I blurted out: "Lao Tse and really really bad pickup lines". In retrospect, my choices could have been better, but in the heat of the moment you're apt to make mistakes. He's been following me around and peering in my windows, though. I'm afraid I might have to call the cops.

I think he has something against Internet Explorer. So if you want to hear what he has to say, you'll have to switch. UPDATE: He decided to start speaking to losers using IE, consider yourselves lucky.

Posted by eric at 07:33 PM | Comments (2)

It's about time

Big Lebowski is now at the top of my netflix. I also noticed the other day that buying pre-made white russian mix is way cheaper than buying everything seperately.

Posted by eric at 12:13 PM | Comments (0)

I was reading a certain new blog earlier and came across the pseudonym "C. Qwest". Odd, the name seems to ring a bell. Oh. Right. Forget I mentioned it.

As much fun as giving online personals the "MST3K treatment" sounds, isn't it a bit like shooting fish in a barrel? Granted, the grounds are ripe for comedic plucking.

Posted by eric at 11:40 AM | Comments (3)