March, 2006 [Reset]
Sexitragic
I beat myself up pretty bad -- you would not believe the hideous colors my injured parts have turned. I was tempted to post a photo, but this really isn't that kind of blog.

My convalescence has kept me from my entries and probably will for awhile longer, so I'll leave you with this parody of Katie & Tom in the midst of a sexy, sexy E-meter session. Sexy AND tragic, both at the same time.

tom-cruise-radar_small.jpg

(I have no idea where it came from, try GIS.)
3/31/2006 12:31 PM
 
Basic Instinks?
From NYT:

IT should come as no surprise that "Basic Instinct 2," the long-gestating follow-up to Paul Verhoeven's 1992 blip on the zeitgeist screen, is a disaster of the highest or perhaps lowest order. It is also no surprise that this joyless calculation, which was directed by Michael Caton-Jones and possesses neither the first film's sleek wit nor its madness, is such a prime object lesson in the degradation that can face Hollywood actresses, especially those over 40. Acting always involves a degree of self-abasement, but just watching trash like this is degrading.

...

Now 48, the actress retains the same lucid gaze and whippet-thin body, but in this film her face looks strangely inert, and she seems deeply ill at ease. Ms. Stone has famously denied having plastic surgery, and maybe that's true, but, man, does she look weird here.


Sharon was on "Daily Show" last night in an interview so boring and vapid I wouldn't have been surprised if a stagehand had come up when it was over to deflate her and stuff her in a bad to be inflated at the next media appearance. I would have preferred watching a petulant teenage girl blab into her cell phone for 5 minutes about how much fun it is to talk on cell phones.
3/31/2006 8:20 AM
 
3/28/2006 11:18 AM
1
 
Arena Football:Game 1
People these days are so hung up on the score. "What was the score?" is always the first question, not "How did the teams play? Did they play to the best of their ability? Did they show up in spite of the odds?"

Which is, of course, a cheap way out of not telling you what the score was. Wouldn't you like to know? The other team was a bunch of younguns, fresh out of whatever organized league they played in.

We lost. We stood nary a chance. But we did score. We had some fun.

That said, I have temporarily lost the use of my left ankle and left pinky finger. (It's huge and purple and digusting!) Tomorrow morning will truly tell the tale.
3/28/2006 11:11 AM
 
MRO Opens Eyes, Freaks Out



NASA's New Mars Orbiter Returns Test Images

To get desired groundspeeds and lighting conditions for the test images, researchers programmed the cameras to shoot while the spacecraft was flying about 1,547 miles or more above Mars' surface, about nine times the range planned for the orbiter's primary science mission. Even so, the highest resolution of about 8 feet per pixel - an object 8 feet in diameter would appear as a dot -- is comparable to some of the best resolution previously achieved from Mars orbit.
3/28/2006 10:10 AM
 
Finally Here
I'm happy enough with my pet project to finally put online. Click the logo for the site and program installer.





The nutshell: it's a program that lets you quickly launch your programs, files, or bookmarks just by typing the first few letters of the name. E.g. Checking my web-based email. I only need to type 4 keys to open the site. 'Control', 'Space' to pop up the launcher, letters 'g', 'm' and Apollo's selected my Gmail bookmark. If it misses the item you want selected on the first few searches, launching it will train the program to pop that item to the top of the list.

So go on, try it out! I need a few of these:

3/26/2006 11:53 AM
2
 
Powaqatsi
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powaqat2.jpg

powaqat3.jpg


A couple of weeks back I wrote a little about Koyannisqatsi -- I was so taken with the film that I went out and bought the whole "Qatsi" trilogy. The middle feature, Powaqatsi, is just as thoroughly entertaining as its older sibling but more polished, and easier on the eye. Powaqatsi feels like stepping into a National Geographic picture essay of undeveloped or lightly developed societies. The Desolate cityscapes and faceless architecture of Koyaanisqatsi are replaced by smiling children and throngs of manual laborers. The music plays the part of a main character, rising and falling with the action; a marked difference from the frenetic and often dissonant soundtrack of Koyaanisqatsi. I'm going to try to strip out the soundtrack because it deserves to be listened to even apart from the film.

The movie lacks any narration and again the director, Godfrey Reggio, lets us take away from the movie what we will. It's a good thing because this film could have easily become a technology/modern/western-bashing quagmire of the dullest kind. (Can you imagine an episode of "Nature" directed by Michael Moore?)

Interview with the director was also a highlight. Reggio describes the film as a "questioning the venerated familiar". Talking about the conflict between the older styles of living shown in the film and the technological present, he says: "the utopia of the technological order is virtual immortality, hithertofore only ascribed to the gods". You're never quite sure exactly what it is that he means, much like the films themselves, but the disentanglement is part of (okay, most of) the fun.
3/24/2006 7:29 AM
 
All these worlds are yours except Europa. Attempt no landings there.

Quick, what movie am I?
3/22/2006 11:35 AM
6
 
Back for More
Sharon Stone, I'm not done with you quite yet. Ohhhh no. I really want to understand your assertion that "peace in the middle east is just a breath away", but I have a sneaking suspicion that this is the intellectual equivalent of searching for deeper meaning on daytime television.

  • You have some PO'ed Palenstinian fans who could definitely use some peacebreathing

  • You'll kiss anyone for peace. Except Shimon Peres, who you were standing next to at the time.

    Women consider thoughts and feelings more than men, she said.

    "I think (men and women) need to be a team. We were meant to be a team," she said.


  • You're supposed to have an IQ of 154, or maybe 148. And you're a member of MENSA, having easily passed the admission test. Except that younever was and never did.

  • You say that AIDS is bad, m'kay, but your character in the sure smash hit "Basic Instinct 2" engages in extremely risky sexual behavior?



I'm so confused, Sharon, help me out here! Maybe I just need some peace kisses.
3/22/2006 11:07 AM
 
Runnin' like Randy Moss
"Sure, I'll be on your arena football team" I told my cube-mate at work, conjuring images of a nerf ball and a sunny summer afternoon playing catch. And not believing that it would actually happen.

But now we have dates and times and teams signed up to play. Err, whoopsie!

We had a practice last weekend, running around in the windchill for an hour or so on a slippery, mucky mess of a field. I took a few good spills while grabbing for the ball, got the wind knocked out of me good. I realized something: I am not meant to play football. I have a bad knee. I have no stamina. Worst of all, I have keyboard hands. Soft, pale, they make catching pigskin feel like catching block of rough granite. And it's too late to back out.

Practice again this Saturday and games start next Tuesday. Hoo-yah!
3/22/2006 10:43 AM
1
 
Sharon Stone:Peacebreather


Peace just a breath away, says Sharon Stone

"It feels to me that we have an opportunity ... to choose understanding in a new way," she told a press conference in Paris when asked about her trip.

"We are just that breath away from a peaceful co-existence" ... "And it really is just a breath. It's just an agreement that's just a breath. We are not far apart. We can choose to have this alternative kind of growth that is a collective nuance of understanding."

...

"This is a new and very exciting time for women, because women by their very nature are creative and not destructive. And this is an extraordinary and important thing that we can bring into a world that awaits the opportunity for peace."


I don't know about peace, but after reading this I was well into a couple of gasping breaths of shrieks and laughter. I wish her well in her quest to breath some peace into the middle east.

It does make me wonder what she thinks is holding us back from the choosing of this new growth of an understanding of nuance of peace. Aside from all men everywhere.

From breitbart.com.
3/21/2006 9:41 AM
1
 
Misc Misc Misc
I bet you've never seen a Ford Model A towing a rocket, have you?

Or how about these astonishing images of things that have been completely overloaded? Ganked from plurib.



I've been taking the evening nice and slow. For reasons beyond my event horizon o'comprehension, today really had me stressed out. Felt ill, dizzy. Nervous. (Well, moreso than normal).

There's an awesome "UFO Files" on right now on "The History Channel". It's about the airship that crashed in Aurora, Texas i n 1897. Allegedly it crashed into a local judge's windmill and burned in his flower garden. The townsfolk found a small body that they assumed to be the pilot and claimed that it wasn't a creature from this world. There's a good synopsis on the Aurora, Texas wikipedia page. I bet the Chamber of Commerce loves that. The historical recreations are a hoot. Shreds of tin foil "airship" litter the ground. Women in period costumes peer at poorly animated balls of fire in the sky.

Speaking of balls of fire in Texas, I also saw the documentary "Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room". Astonishing hubris. After the collapse, Ken Lay tells during a press conference about how he's lost hundreds of millions and is practically in the poor house with a personal "real net worth" of less than $25 million and "liquidity" of less than a million. The gist of the story was that Enron had actually been bankrupt for years and was kept afloat by accounting schemes that counted potential, non-existant earnings and the transfer of debt to subsidiaries. The whole scheme was predicated on the hope that Enron's stock would only continue to rise -- which is why it worked so well during the dot-com bubble.

I'll pick some more on Ken Lay: During a company conference after the SEC had started investigating the company and news of the shady inner workings started leaking out, someone asks him a memorable question: "Are you on crack?"

Oops.. Got to go! They're analyzing metallic fragments from the Aurora crash site, and NASA scientists can't explain their composition! Whahahaha.
3/20/2006 10:41 AM
 


All quiet on the home front. Coded all weekend. It's easy to brush off questions like "How much more life do I have to waste?" because I feel so productive. It can't last.
3/19/2006 10:01 AM
1
 
Not Dead Yet -- Or Am I?
Long days at work, no time/energy/enthusiasm/awakeness for whatever.

Yet another winter storm and a woman in the parking lot at the gym asked me "what's the point?" What she meant was "Why do I put up with scraping my car off and risking my life on the roads -- the perennial hassle of living at this latitude?" What I took it to mean was a little more philosophical: "Why this confounding, sisyphusian struggle to keep up appearances? Not just of physical sufficiency but of élan vital itself?" All I could do was laugh and smile. I have no answer.
3/16/2006 10:29 AM
 
Lunar Lunatic
Beautiful moon dog out tonight. It's also Percival Lowell's 151st birthday, so to celebrate, Google has launched Google Mars. (Remember Google Moon?) Poor Percival, from my cursory examination of the site there are no canals to be found. Maybe with MRO's bigger cameras we'll finally see exactly what those Martians are up to.

3/13/2006 10:27 AM
 
A Rush of "Silver"
I have not been lazy lately -- quite the opposite, I've been going full bore on a side project which is turning out to be astonishingly useful. And fun to write. That's a powerful combo, powerful enough to keep me from my appointed Netflix.

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Shh, don't tell anyone. This is a sneak peek.
3/12/2006 12:37 PM
 
Thunder Snow
thunder_snow.png


That's Minnesota in March. The forecasters have been predicting 6" of snow around here but I don't see it. The last several "big storms" died, victims of lots of hype and no white stuff.

On a completely unrelated note, humans adore animal babies because of the action of "Oxytocin" on the brain. That's what I get for watching PBS -- more liberal propoganda claiming humans are related to chimps and their ilk.
3/12/2006 11:31 AM
2
 
Happy MRO Orbital Insertion Day!


If you're a spaceship travelling to Mars, you have a very important job to do just before you get there: You have to fire your rockets at exactly the right moment to get yourself into Mars orbit. Adding to the excitement, if you do this a moment too soon you will end up a very small scorch mark on the surface of an already very dirty planet. A moment too late and you will zing past Mars into the icy void of space without enough fuel to go anywhere meaningful. You'll die a cold, lonely, embarassing death.

Already, your forebears have a spotty record of accomplishing this delicate task.

Best of all, you'll be on the opposite side of the planet from Earth, so you'll have to do this on your own. Good luck to you.
3/10/2006 9:14 AM
 
Lazily Live-blogging MRO
4:05 EST: NASA TV is kind of like flying a jet fighter (or so I've heard): Long hours of boredom followed by moment of sheer terror. No such terror evident right now. Mostly shots of engineers in their native habitat in front of a data plot. They're broadcasting from Pasadena. I'm not sure that "Pasadena, we have a problem" will sound quite as good as that other famous quote.

Something happens. Cheers!

Anonymous voice: "That was easy."

More excitement: there's a "slew to burn attitude" coming up!

4:07 EST: Spacecraft has spun around to point its engines in the direction it's travelling. Their connection speed has dropped to 160 bits a second. It's like getting your integers through a sippy straw. (Try playing WoW at that speed!)

4:12 EST: Awww, isn't that cute. NASA TV has some nice animations and pre-taped talking heads lined up to explain exactly what's going on. I'm not sure I like it very much. Where are the rampaging hordes of acronyms? The authoritative but unhelpful commentary?

Part of the fun is pretending you know what's going on! C'mon, NASA.

4:20 EST: "Burn FID" "LAT Flush". "Gimbals to dual-redundant powered hold". Much better.

4:24 EST: They're passing around a "bottle of nuts" for good luck. How. Appropriate.

4:25 EST: "Burn baby burn". The rocket starts right on time. Clapping!

THIS GUY JUMPS UP ON HIS DESK AND STRIPS HIS CLOTHES OFF!! GERRRROSSSS! He's pouring the aforementioned nuts over his disgustingly pale body! I can't look...

4:28 EST: I was just kidding about that last thing. I don't know what came over me. The engines "are accumulating on time". Which in English means: "Looks like the rocket scientist who designed them gets to keep his job."

4:34 EST: Old man Mission Director talks about aerobraking. Riveting. Science will happen. Maps are displayed. (Sheeeyit! 3-D charts to boot!)

4:44 EST: Engineers looking much more bored than before. Maybe they've also been watching NASA TV coverage of themselves.

4:46 EST: Noooooooooooooooo! The orbiter has decided to start playing peekaboo with us behind Mars. Real nice, great timing.

4:53 EST: I don't think the guy that's front and center on NASA's feed knows that he's on camera. He keeps fiddling and flipping through papers, that is, when he's not picking his nose. Inexplicable shot of good looking redhead. More interviews with "Project Managers" and their ilk. Let's not forget that it's Friday afternoon in Pasadena too. They're people just like us. They've been cooped up in the office all week and wish they could pack it in, but they can't! That's what being in charge of a multimillion dollar operation gets you: screwed up weekends.

5:03 EST: There's a "radiation queue" file for sending signals to the orbiter. Awesome. I'll have to start calling SOMETHING a "radiation queue", it's too macho a phrase to pass up.

They have to send signals to Mars a little early because it takes so long to get there. Kind of like second-class postage.

5:09 EST: The "Deep Space Network" exists and apparently is not an extraterrestrial CNN. Apparently they use huge dishes like Charlie Sheen did in "The Arrival". Man that was an awesome movie. The aliens totally had backwards-jointed knees.

5:12 EST: Just a few more minutes now before the orbiter decides to come out and start talking. People are eating pastries. I don't understand how they can eat at a time like this!

All of the workstations have blue triangles sitting atop their monitors that announce who they belong to. "Ground Data Systems". "Flight Tracking". "Operations". If I had a blue triangle, it would say "The Dude".

5:16 EST: MRO PHONES HOME!!!!! Hells yeah! The previously staid scene devolves into bacchanalian chaos. There's a huge round of "put 'er theres", and "right on the moneys".

5:25 EST: BOO-YAH GRANDMA! It looks like the ship won't skitter off into space after all. It's safely in orbit. People walking around like the Cubs just won the pennant and the 49ers just won the division title. Or maybe like Pauly Shore just won an oscar.

Anonymous voice: "How 'bout them cowboys!" Wha??

5:25 EST: The project director that all of the TV coverage was scripted. The nerve. But -- everything looks good and I've wasted enough time in front of Yahoo's crappy media player. Hoorah for large-ish victories.
3/10/2006 3:01 AM
 
...But Then I Got High (Processor Utilization)
I did mean to write something here tonight, but as is so often the case I found it more fulfilling to code up something fun. I would share, but it would be but a small, non-functional piece of cryptic text that only a technological masochist could enjoy.

I suppose it's a telling that I'd rather be pounding away on software automatons that will probably never see the light of day. Ah well. Too late to do anything about it now.
3/9/2006 12:23 PM
3
 
E85 Usage Stats
Some E85 more cost/benefit:

Tank 1:

19.4 mpg
84.3% of unleaded mpg
Normalized price: $2.02 (unleaded was $2.40)
Paid price: $1.99
Cost 1.4% less to use E85.

Tank 2:

19.9 mpg
86.5% of unleaded mpg
Normalized price: $2.03 (unleaded was $2.35)
Paid price: $1.89
Cost 6.8% less to use E85.

These figures assume that I'd get about 23 mpg on my 2.3L Taurus. It seems like E85 is less sensitive to driving conditions (highway/city) than regular gasoline. Tank 1 was mostly city and 2 was mostly highway.

Also: I need a bigger gas tank. It's nice to actually pay less for the fuel but I'm stopping at the pump more frequently. This is complicated by the fact E85 pumps are a rarity.
3/8/2006 9:15 AM
1
 
Koyaanisqatsi
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"Koyaanisqatsi", meaning "crazy life" or "life out of balance" in the Hopi language, is the name of one of the most beautiful and mesmerizing films I've ever seen. It is a collection of scenes that range from geological splendor to human squalor, many in time-lapse and aerial sequences.

At the beginning we see clouds surrealistically flowing over mountaintops and waves crashing over the camera. At the end we see slowly panning clips of citiscapes filmed in New York and Los Angeles sometimes over the course of the entire night.

Traffic flows, congests, and then flows again. Cars stop and start at each light as they flicker between red and green. There are shots of manufacturing plants, subway stations, strip mines, atomic bombs, rows of military vehicles and abandoned housing projects all seamlessly woven together. Sometimes we see individuals as they pass by on the street, but the scale of the film is much greater than that of a single person.

The musical score nicely accompanies the imagery, sometimes rythmic choral and others mournful organ. It is deliberately repetitive, but the visual interest is usually sufficient to keep it from being annoying.

The film is from 1983 which added to my interest; although life is most aesthetically appealing now it hasn't really changed much. Los Angeles is just a little more jammed with traffic.

While the premise of Koyaanisqatsi is that modern life is unbalanced, this isn't the feeling I got from watching. The city scenes of people frentically crowding around subway platforms and cars wending their way through highways like manic ants seemed to be just as natural as any from the wilderness at the beginning of the movie. How could we even ourselves humans if we didn't change and adapt our environment to suit our needs? Would it natural for us all to live in clay huts, gather berries and kill 4-legged beasties for food, or would that be merely naturalistic?

Still, I enjoyed it quite a bit. Already ordered it and the two follow-up films by the same director. If you have a little patience and any desire for a different view of life than you're used to, check it out.
3/7/2006 5:45 AM
 
NO WAY!!
NEWSFLASH!!!

BARRY BONDS ON STEROIDS!



I don't think anyone could have foreseen that the levies mi -- uh, I mean -- that this charitable, kindhearted superstar would become mired in something as low down and shameful as steroid abuse. Who next? Professional wrestlers?

(Look, I'm sick, it's all the funny I can manage.)
3/7/2006 3:29 AM
 
http://www.aviationnow.com/avnow/news/channel_awst_story.jsp?id=news/030606p1.xml
http://www.waytoblue.com/media/video/the_real_simpsons_850k.mov
http://www.loe.org/shows/shows.htm?programID=06-P13-00008

http://www.micom.net/oops/

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11986926/
http://www.journalism.ubc.ca/thunderbird/2005.03/features/betablockers.html
3/6/2006 3:18 AM
 
Women Can Be Realtors Too
Okay, I'll out myself -- I've moved back with the parents. My life is dull enough that this doesn't have any real negative implications. Rent is free. Utilities are free. Food is more or less free. I'll have enough saved up come winter that I won't have to pay any mortgage insurance on whatever style dwelling I choose to move along to.

But then -- I started seeing cards for a realtor. Sitting on the kicthen table. Laying inexplicably in the hallway outside of my bedroom door. Of course, I assume that some sort of cryptic hint is being dropped. Maybe I should start looking for a place a little earlier than I had planned. Maybe they've "had enough".

I bring up the card after dinner. "Are you trying to tell me something?" I ask. My mother briefly considers this. "I.. don't think so." She says. "She's married."

Clearly we are not on the same page.
3/5/2006 11:27 AM
2
 
Are they Trying to Kill Cash?
1ten030306.standalone.jpg


Wasn't green good enough for them? Was it really necessary to take well over a hundred years of "greenback" and flush it down the dirty toilet of modernity?
3/2/2006 3:13 AM
1
 
"I Forever Do"
diamond_mine.gif

Diamonds, those glittery little prerequistes to any real relationship, have always fascinated me. Not the diamonds themselves, mind you, but diamonds as the creation of a mind-bogglingly accomplished marketing campaign.

Upon any annoucement of engagement, I've heard this over and over: "Let's see the ring!". But until 1939, it was quite rare to receieve a diamond engagement ring and certainly not an ingrained cultural expectation.

Have You Ever Tried to Sell a Diamond?, a 1982 article from The Atlantic Monthly, describes the immensity of the success the diamond cartels, De Beers in particular, experienced over the course of half a century.

Consider the example of Japan:

Until 1959, the importation of diamonds had not even been permitted by the postwar Japanese government. When the campaign began, in 1967, not quite 5 percent of engaged Japanese women received a diamond engagement ring. By 1978, half of all Japanese women who were married wore a diamond; by 1981, some 60 percent of Japanese brides wore diamonds. In a mere fourteen years, the 1,500-year Japanese tradition had been radically revised. Diamonds became a staple of the Japanese marriage. Japan became the second largest market, after the United States, for the sale of diamond engagement rings.


The article also examines some of the social and psychological bases of the "diamond invention", including the factor of surprise that is a staple of every diamond commercial. (Borrowed every Christmas by Lexus with its Big Red Bow ads.)

Women are in unanimous agreement that they want to be surprised with gifts.... They want, of course, to be surprised for the thrill of it. However, a deeper, more important reason lies behind this desire.... "freedom from guilt." Some of the women pointed out that if their husbands enlisted their help in purchasing a gift (like diamond jewelry), their practical nature would come to the fore and they would be compelled to object to the purchase.
... The element of surprise, even if it is feigned, plays the same role of accommodating dissonance in accepting a diamond gift as it does in prime sexual seductions: it permits the woman to pretend that she has not actively participated in the decision. She thus retains both her innocence--and the diamond.


I can say this for safely now -- I don't face the unhappy prospect of trying to sell this story to prospective Mrs. Retrogrades...
3/1/2006 7:15 AM
 
Land of the Something, Home of the Whatever
40 percent of Americans believe that "Taking the 5th" or your right to avoid self-incrimination is written in the first Amendment. Apparently some people lack an OBVIOUS-campus area of the brain, emaciated by three-hundred too many episodes of F-r-i-e-n-d-s.

20 percent of Americans believe that the 1st Amendment provides them the right to keep pets as well as the right to drive cars.

Impressive. As a bonus, I wonder what percent of people could name all 9 supreme court justices (or barring that, why "Marbury vs. Madison" was important for our system of government)? For kicks, maybe describe some of the substantive differences between the original U.S. Articles of Confederation and the current Constitution? How about the role of the Federal Reserve and the direct impact it has on our collective finanaces?

I'm not trying to sound elist but it's regrettably unavoidable because the percentage of citizens who can provide even reasonable answers to all these questions has to be less than one percent. (How low are you willing to bet? 0.5%? 0.25%?) These are questions basic to the understanding of what our government is and where it came from.

It is true that you can learn these things in grade school, high school, college, graduate with honors and then never use them again for the rest of your life. I'll grant that. But this complacency is a telling trait of both human psychology and the success* of the American system of government -- it is so good, we don't need to know. It's all the more remarkable that government keeps functioning in the face of such insurmountable ignorance.

*There is "some" room for improvement.
3/1/2006 6:00 AM
2
 
http://oboylephoto.com/ruins/

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/19/opinion/19crichton.html?ei=5090&en=9acdb7fe498d2579&ex=1300424400&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss&pagewanted=all

http://www.scienceblog.com/cms/when_mice_choose_mates_experience_counts_10251.html
3/1/2006 5:13 AM