January, 2006 [Reset]
PHEROTONES:RING IN THE SEXUAL ATTRACTION
pherotones.png


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(P.S. The site is a joke.)
1/29/2006 12:17 PM
2
 
Big (Momma) Sigh
'Big Momma's House 2' rakes in big box office bucks

Bruce Snyder, president of domestic distribution for Twentieth Century Fox, said the popularity of its "Big Momma" films rests with Lawrence's comic appeal.

"People like the 'Big Momma' character, pure and simple. She's funny, she's sassy, but it's a guy underneath there," Snyder said.


The italics are all mine.
1/29/2006 11:24 AM
 
Deep Time


Here's an article about the messages we're sending with our space probes, in the off chance something somewhere picks them up and bothers deciphering them (unlike the Klingons from Star Trek 3).

It points to this fascinating and well-writen piece about trying to express everything humanity is about in a single picture. What to include, what to leave out. Skip to the bottom to see the picture, but you'll have to read the article to find out why it never left the ground.
1/29/2006 11:14 AM
 
Accomplishment
From now on I'm going to save something I KNOW I can finish quickly for Friday afternoon. The satisfcation you get can stretch out to almost the whole weekend. This is naturally offset by the lack of accomplishment you feel DURING the week, so your mileage will very. Also, you may not care about work so you best of luck finding another source of fulfillment.
1/28/2006 12:27 PM
 
 
Apropos of nothing
Let's round out the week's list 80's Power Ballades with Sister Christian by Night Ranger. Rockin'. And motorin'.
1/27/2006 11:35 AM
 
Candlelit LAN Party
A couple of amusing stories from the Strib this morning, I can't help but wonder if they're could be or should be related:

Too much honey, too little money

Are you making a financial mistake by having too much fun? Budgeting for hobbies, even in your 20s, is essential if you want stay out of financial trouble.

Between hockey, snowboarding, skateboarding, camping, traveling, fishing, hanging with his dogs Sugar and Jack, and his latest interest -- restoring a '79 Harley-Davidson Sportster Ironhead 1000 motorcycle, there's never a dull moment for Andy Dallman, 23, of Minneapolis.

Like a lot of twentysomethings, Dallman has more disposable income than he will when he's married with kids and a mortgage, so he's taking advantage of his financial freedom now.


Sounds about right for my age group. I bought my toys too when I first had some dough. Here's the other story:


Speed-dating program needs single males - fast


Speed Dating in the Parks, to be offered next month, has plenty of women but not enough men.

Plenty of singles are interested in the new Speed Dating in the Parks program being offered next month by the Three Rivers Park District. The trouble is that most of them are women.

The program was the idea of Jenni Mead, a 25-year-old (and single) outdoor recreation specialist who adores winter sports. Participants will snowshoe on a candlelit trail while getting to know one another, then socialize over hot chocolate.


Short of hosting a LAN party to go with the "candlelit trail", they can count me out.
1/27/2006 11:09 AM
 
They Should Tax Murders Too
State says new 'crack tax' brought in $1.7 million

Drug dealers not only paid their debts to society last year with prison sentences, they often paid with tax money as well.

Tennesee's unauthorized substances tax, dubbed the "crack tax," raked in $1,714,565 since becoming effective on Jan 1., 2005.

The unauthorized substances tax is levied on illegal drugs including marijuana, cocaine and methamphetamine. It also is assessed on illicit alcoholic beverages, such as "moonshine."

Under the law, drug dealers are to pay taxes to the Department of Revenue within 48 hours of acquiring an unauthorized substance and obtain a state tax stamp.


This is hopefully serving as a friendly reminder for everyone who's already received their W-2s.

Oh yeah and as promised, yesterday's 80's Rock Ballad was Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon. Today's is something a little different: Purple Rain by the artist himself.

1/26/2006 9:07 AM
 
Today's 80s Rock Ballad
Heat of the Moment by Asia.

Nothing else says "Power Rock Ballad" quite like this one. Well, maybe some Speedwagon. I should make that tomorrow's.
1/24/2006 11:13 AM
1
 
Partisan Preconceptions
A Shocker: Partisan Thought Is Unconscious

Liberals and conservatives can become equally bug-eyed and irrational when talking politics, especially when they are on the defensive.

Using M.R.I. scanners, neuroscientists have now tracked what happens in the politically partisan brain when it tries to digest damning facts about favored candidates or criticisms of them. The process is almost entirely emotional and unconscious, the researchers report, and there are flares of activity in the brain's pleasure centers when unwelcome information is being rejected.
...
The "cold reasoning" regions of the cortex were relatively quiet.


Explains why some people get emotional instantly when talking about politics. Just proposing an idea to them is almost equivalent to insulting their mother.
1/24/2006 5:58 AM
2
 
Welcome to the 21st Century!
Finally -- flying cars!



Now if we can only find out where the cars that run on water are; my grandmother is convinced the government is hiding them from us. (via The Register)
1/23/2006 11:10 AM
 
Somebody else posting again
That's right, it's ZUUL!
1/22/2006 11:02 AM
 
BEARS

"I don't think this is such a good idea, Yogi..."









Ripped from fark while searching for bear pictures. (Don't ask.)
1/22/2006 10:53 AM
 
Brrr...


MOSCOW, Russia (AP) -- Arctic temperatures gripping most of Russia pushed the reported death toll close to 40 on Friday as weather forecasters warned that no major thaw is expected in Moscow before February.
...
But thousands of religious believers -- along with other hardy souls -- plunged into icy waters nationwide Thursday for an annual ritual marking the Russian Orthodox Christian holiday of Epiphany.

Complaints about the cold came amid comical stories about coping by both man and beast.

At a zoo in Lipetsk, south of Moscow, director Alexander Osipov said monkeys would be given wine three times a day "to protect against colds," the RIA-Novosti news agency reported. Rossiya television said a circus sea lion was being treated for pneumonia with brandy body rubs.


I have got to investigate "brandy body rubs" a bit further.
1/20/2006 9:20 AM
 
Eschatology Extravaganza


Assailed from all sides to write a describe my "Left Behind" movie experience, I've finally caved. I'll do it. I read the books one semester while bored in between classes in the "Continuing Education" building of the community college I briefly attended. I just hoped that if the world was going to end, it wouldn't happen while I was sitting in the CE building's student lounge, surrounded by cola-stained furniture and high schoolers taking introductory classes. If it was going to end I wanted to be standing on Broadway in New York, tangled among the screaming masses as they desperately try to outrun the unyielding crush of Godzilla's bestial claws.

Well, in the movie it turns out that the world ends -- but only for the true (evangelical, protestant -- no Catholics in the movie) believers. After introducing us to a few characters their naked bodies are whisked away and all that remain are piles of clothes, glasses and other personal effects. This, of course, tempts me to believe that God is either a hilarious practical joker or that the teleporter he bought from Acme Teleportation of 777 St. Peter's Gate Blvd was tragically defective. What about the people with implanted organs? Implanted breasts? The movie does not address these crucial questions.

In fact, the movie raises a whole raft (a plethora, if you will) of questions that it doesn't answer. It tries to do too much: Characters development. Backroom intrigue. Murder most foul. Techno-thrill. Proseletize. Adulterize. Touchy-feelyize. Humorize. Imagine Independance Day without the aliens and with 1/10th the budget. And no actors with any charisma.

Main plot arc, nutshell: Some evil dudes have found a way to sieze control of the world's food supplies. They install a puppet as UN Secretary General. Puppet instantly morphs into Anti-christ. He kills off the evil dudes, takes control of the food supply anyways, and decides to rebuild the Temple of David in Jerusalem as a sign of peace.

A sign of peace? Why don't you just nuke Mecca while you're at it? Or replace the Martin Luther King center with a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Replace the Mormon Tabernacle with a brothel? It's all for peace!

If Left Behind does one thing well, it's this: It uses a LOT of extras. Extras on the street, extras in the "airport", extras in just about every place you can cram them. My guess is that they put the call out to area congregations and had plenty of willing volunteers.

As a movie, Left Behind is not good. As a vehicle for gospel, it's somewhere between a Hell house and Jehovah's Witnesses at the door who are way behind on their quota.

Left Behind 2 and 3 await.
1/18/2006 12:00 PM
2
 
Kangaroos and Plaid


A weird illustration graphic from "A modest STL tutorial". Why does the gray block have a Pac-man and pair of testicles growing from it? The text that accompanies it provides no hints:

Random access iterators can jump from any place to any other place in constant time I am not sure that this is required, and it is certainly allowed to be amortized constant time. Every C pointer type is an STL random iterator for a C array container.


I don't think the tutorial is being modest at all.
1/17/2006 12:54 PM
2
 
Undead => Unemployed?
Remember Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey? How could you not, he's like two posts down.

It turns out he's made too much of an impression on the wrong people -- the school board who employs his wife. She's been fired from her bus driving job with the school district. (see the letter.)

From Politics1.
1/17/2006 10:11 AM
 
God Hates Black People?
First it was G. W. Bush, now the man upstairs himself:

Mayor Ray Nagin suggested Monday that Hurricanes Katrina and Rita and other storms were a sign that "God is mad at America" and at black communities, too, for tearing themselves apart with violence and political infighting.

"Surely God is mad at America. He sent us hurricane after hurricane after hurricane, and it's destroyed and put stress on this country," Nagin, who is black, said as he and other city leaders marked Martin Luther King Day.
...
"It's time for us to come together. It's time for us to rebuild New Orleans the one that should be a chocolate New Orleans," the mayor said. "This city will be a majority African American city. It's the way God wants it to be."


A lot of people have been claiming to speak objective truth direct from God's lips these days. I feel like I'm missing out. If only God were on instant messenger, life would be SO MUCH easier.
1/17/2006 9:20 AM
 
No, really! What do I need to do...?
'Dead man' walking panics village

An Indian man believed dead by his family and fellow villagers caused panic when he returned over fears he had come back as a ghost, the Times of India reports.

Children screamed "Ghost! Ghost!" and villagers locked their doors when Raju Raghuvanshi returned from jail earlier this month to his village in Mandla district in the central state of Madhya Pradesh.
...
The village council has demanded he prove he is not a ghost, but the paper did not say what kind of proof the elders wanted.


Blatantly ripped from Fark.
1/16/2006 11:10 AM
 
Microblogs
I really like this warming trend the upper midwest has going on. It means I don't even have to wear gloves anymore. That said, I would appreciate it if the temperature stayed just a little below freezing so everything doesn't turn to muck and get on my car. I'm fickle like that.




After a "very long wait" in my Netflix queue, I finally got to see the "Left Behind" movie with Kirk Cameron. I cannot recall why I added this movie to my queue to begin with.




"24" is as.. aww, forget it. FOX needs to bring Arrested Development back on Sundays. To my utter surprise, there really is a law blog written by Bob Loblaw. Read all about it here! (The Bob Loblaw Law Blog.. say it over and over again!!)
1/15/2006 11:41 AM
1
 
Tastes Like Chicken?


Scientists: Donner Family Not Cannibals
RENO, Nev. Jan 13, 2006 — There's no physical evidence that the family who gave the Donner Party its name had anything to do with the cannibalism the ill-fated pioneers have been associated with for a century and a half, two scientists said Thursday.
...
"The Donner family ended up getting the stigma basically because of the name," said Julie Schablitsky, one of the lead authors. "But of all the people, they were probably the least deserving of it."


Notice that the article only disputes reports of cannibalism at one of the sites where the pioneers were stuck. How does a person find work doing this sort of stuff?
1/14/2006 11:53 AM
 
Minnesota's Next Head of State


Honesty is very seldom heard nowadays, especially from a politician. So, I am not going to break from political tradition. My name is Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, Ph.D., L.D.D.D. I am a Satanic Dark Priest, Sanguinarian Vampyre and a Hecate Witch. My Magikal Path name is: Lord Ares.

I despise and hate the Christian God the Father. He is my mortal enemy.

Any Terrorist who is caught in Minnesota while I am governor, will find out what the true meaning of my nickname: “The Impaler!” I will impale them right in front of our State Capital. Then Fed’s can take the terrorist’s body from the impaling stake. If the US Department of
Justice (DOJ) wants to charge me with brutally murdering a terrorist, they may do so. I do not see an American Jury convicting me.


Really, what more introduction do you need?
1/12/2006 11:07 AM
 
Ring 2
"You see the ring, then you die."

"You see the ring 2, then you're bored."

I was looking for some cheap scares, so I 'flixed "Ring 2". The first one had its moments, I figured, so maybe I could get some mileage out of this one.

I knew I was in trouble as soon as the leads were re-introduced -- the dialog was as flat and lifeless as the DVD it rode in on. Anyone with eyes could see throw-away characters being introduced from halfway across the film.

There's a scene where a herd of deer attack a car and then stand around and leer in at the occupants. It's not explained, and at this point it's more aggravating than frightening. The rest of the movie is spent with hokey dialog between the mother and the son.

What's more disappointing than the fact that this film was green-lighted was that it was written by Erhen Kruger, who wrote one of my real favorites, "Arlington Road". (Stop the sniggering!) The film was dumped into production to make a quick buck.. avoid!
1/12/2006 8:30 AM
 
The Hand That Time Forgot
crow_tom_manos.png


The Hand That Time Forgot is an article about Manos: The Hands of Fate, one of the all-time worst movies I've had the misfortune of seeing (even in MST3K-ed form). It's the story of how $19,000 and a dream resulted in a film so bad that I will go to great lengths to avoid ever seeing it again in any form.

How to describe Manos fairly? I tell locals that it's about a couple who take a wrong turn on Scenic Drive (that being the one landmark in the film still recognizable after three decades) and wind up at a 'Lodge' managed by a cult leader, his wobbly-kneed sidekick, and his harem of lingerie-clad wives.


If this describes someone you have any desire to see, then it's just not a fair description. The "Director of Cinematographer"'s take on Torgo, one of the only memorable characters:

One of the reasons he hates the Mystery Science Theater version, he said, is the silhouettes of the MST cast which block the bottom portion of the screen throughout the film. They obscure the few shots where you can see that Torgo actually does have cloven-hoofed feet. The subtle explanation for Torgo's awkward gait: he's a satyr.


Oh, that explains it a.. Wait, what? Satyr?

As for the Master's 'wives', they were recruited from a local modeling agency, Fran Simon's Mannequin Manor.

"And they gave poor Hal [the director] fits," said Bob. "They kept doing little turns every time they walked. 'This is not a runway!' he would scream at them."


The night of the big premiere:

He also rented one 1955 Cadillac limousine which would arrive at the door of the theater, unload a couple of the stars, then drive around the block to where the rest of the cast and crew were waiting, pick up two more, and make another run.


At the very least, the article has some great illustrations. Check it out.
1/11/2006 8:11 AM
1
 
Sigh


Wash. Woman Suffocates Under House Clutter
Police Chief: Clothes, Debris Piled 6 Feet High

SHELTON, Wash. -- A Washington state woman who was reported missing was later found dead suffocated under a pile of debris in her home, police said.

Officers found clothing, dishes and boxes crammed from floor to ceiling in every room of the couple's house.

"In some areas, clothes and debris were piled 6 feet high," said Police Chief Terry Davenport of the Shelton Police Department. "Officers were having to climb over the top on their hands and knees. In some areas, their heads were touching the ceiling while they were standing on top of piles of debris."
1/10/2006 10:26 AM
 
JAVA JIHAD!


The opening shots in a long-anticipated jihad against the imperialist aggressor were fired today in an unassuming streetfront location in San Francisco. Long have I warned against the seemingly unchecked expansion of this overcaffeinated exploitation of American capitalism. Mark my words! The infidels and their exorbitantly priced Americanos will no longer be allowed to serve their free-trade, aromatically-roasted offerings in peace!

(It's a good thing nobody got hurt!)
1/9/2006 11:37 AM
1
 
So You Won The Space Race
Who's paying who now? For anyone who still has illusions about NASA's grip on manned spaceflight:

(SPACE.com) -- NASA will pay the Russian Federal Space Agency $21.8 million per passenger for Soyuz rides to and from the international space station (ISS) starting this spring.

NASA spokeswoman Melissa Mathews said January 5 that the U.S. space agency and its Russian counterpart concluded a $43.8 million deal just before New Year's Day that includes Soyuz transportation to and from the space station for NASA's newly named Expedition 13 crew member, Jeff Williams, and a ride home for astronaut Bill McArthur, who has been living onboard the station since October.


Soyuz rockets predate Apollo, let alone the shuttle. It's time NASA started seriously a crash (pun?) program to get American rockets putting astronauts back in space. Link
1/8/2006 11:37 AM
 
1/7/2006 2:16 AM
 
The Modern Cargo Cultist

Around the end of WW2 it was well documented that certain Melanesian tribes would build elaborate imitations of Allied airfields from local materials. These airfields could contain runways, command huts, control towers, imitation radios and even headphones made from sticks that the operators to wear. Soliders drilled in formation sporting hand-fashioned wooden rifles. Some held timely English tea. Some even built huge airplane replicas that they carted around.

They had seen working airfields and assumed that by creating their own the airplanes they saw overhead would bequeath to them the same wealth of cargo that they had the nearby soldiers. These tribes became known as Cargo Cults, and the term survives today, applied to various disciplines: Replicating something, trying to benefit from it without understanding or appreciating its significance.
Sometimes I wonder just how much we have in common with these cultists. How much of what we do depends on things we don't understand? Imagine that the cultists' gamble pays off: Planes start landing, providing them riches beyond their contemplation. Unfair, right? They have no concept of the complexities of modern machinery or centuries of development time, but yet they reap the rewards.

Can't be often be accused of the same thing? How many people use cell phones daily, expecting them to work at all times in all places, but have no interest in or understanding of how they work? How about modern biology? How many of us take a pill, grateful that it just works? And how many actively reject the very basis of that same science by believing evolution is nothing but a sham perpetrated by liberal atheist researchers in white lab coats?

 If this sounds harsh, it is. After all, how can a normal person be expected to understand all the underpinnings of modern technology? I'm hardly immune from this. I have no idea even how simple drugs like aspirin work. Some things like time division multiplexing used in cell networks can only be fully understood by doctoral level types, but is complexity the only reason for the general lack of curiosity I see in this generation? Are we just too busy distracting ourselves with whatever provides the quickest gratifying feedback?

I can't help but suppose there's a little bit of cargo cultist in each of us.
1/7/2006 1:24 AM
 
God:Pat Robertson's Hitman
Or -- Pat Robertson: God Hates Happy Puppies, Pretty Kitties, Jews

Or -- Pat Robertson Dies Of "Natural" Causes, God Hauled In For Questioning

The possibilities are endless as Robertson races towards his goal of being the worst possible caricature of a Christian leader. He's made great strides in the last year, maybe this one will be just as productive.

I bet he's got an architecturally informed opinion on this: Death toll at 53 in Mecca hostel collapse.
1/6/2006 9:14 AM
 
 
Laws requiring parental licensure

Modern science is a product of biology

Free will is going away. Time to redesign society to take that into account.

What are people well-informed about in the Information Age?

http://www.edge.org/q2006/q06_print.html
1/5/2006 3:08 AM
 
Huzzah!
'Futurama' may get new lease on life

If Arrested Development gets picked up by another network all will once again be right with the world.
1/4/2006 10:56 AM
 
So this is the new year
I admit it, I've stopped blogging. Fell out of the groove, tumbled off the bandwagon, bitten by the lazy bug. Whatever. And don't get any ideas about new year's resolutions to start again -- I haven't made any, I never do.

I ran out of desire to type. I ran dry of any sort of real, heartfelt conflict to grouse over. All that's left were minor irritations, and I really don't want to read like a whiner. Job is great. Living arrangements are acceptable. Friends are around with satisfying regularity. And yet...

It's funny how desire and conflict can be one and the same. It comes in all shapes. You want something you don't (or can't) have? That's a conflict. New year's resolution to change a habit? That's an annual one for most people.

Scarcity, whether we can get what we want when everyone else wants it too, is one of the foundations of economics -- unless you're some sort of communist. Religion, too: What we want for us as instead of what God wants for us. What we want from God and vice versa. These are nothing if not in conflict.

Well, like I was saying, prose without some sort of struggle, some sort of instigation, makes for boring blogging. Boring for you, boring for me. That said, I may have reason to be back. I might have unwittingly stumbled onto some angsty wellspring.

In the meantime, try out Retrievr, a search for photos shared on Flickr. The kicker is that you search by sketching out what you want to see. Sometimes it works, sometimes it returns garbage. Background here. Hint: It involves "multiresolution wavelet decomposition".
1/4/2006 9:33 AM
 
What is with all the comment spam?
I deleted like 500 comments' worth.
1/4/2006 6:55 AM
 
Therapy for blogitis?
manatee26js_small.jpg

I found this really funny. Your mileage may very.
1/3/2006 12:17 PM
2
 
jenkines
Having trouble posting, something is busted. In the meantime, read this.
1/3/2006 11:52 AM